Connecting with others can be both one of life’s greatest challenges and rewards. Whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, or romantic partners, every relationship offers a chance to grow. The teachings of Allan Kardec, especially in The Spirits’ Book (Amazon), offer practical and spiritual insights that can completely change the way we interact with the people around us.
In this article, we’ll explore how to apply Kardec’s spiritual principles in everyday relationships, helping create more empathy, harmony, and understanding.
The Spiritist view on human relationships
In Spiritism, relationships are not seen as random. Many times, we reconnect with spirits from past lives—either to continue learning together, to heal unresolved issues, or to support each other.
“Family ties are not destroyed by reincarnation, as many think. Instead, they become stronger.” (The Spirits’ Book, question 774)
This way of thinking helps us approach relationships with more patience, compassion, and a desire to grow spiritually.
1. Practicing empathy in daily conversations
Kardec teaches that each spirit is at a different stage of spiritual growth. This helps us be more tolerant of others’ mistakes. Instead of judging, we can try to understand what might be causing someone to act the way they do.
Real-life example:
Before reacting with anger to someone being rude or impatient, ask yourself:
“What might this person be going through? Could they be needing understanding more than criticism?”
2. Forgiveness as a tool for freedom
In Spiritism, forgiveness isn’t just about being a “good person”—it’s also a way to heal spiritually. Holding on to anger or resentment can hurt both the one who caused harm and the one who was hurt.
“To forgive is one of the greatest virtues. It brings us closer to true charity.”
Practical tip:
Think about someone you struggle to forgive. Write down how you feel and why. Then, gently tear up or burn the paper (safely), imagining those heavy feelings being released. It’s a symbolic, yet powerful act.
3. Becoming a better listener
Spiritism values honest and respectful communication. Active listening means paying attention without interrupting or judging, and really trying to understand the other person’s point of view.
Everyday practice:
- Ask questions to understand instead of assuming.
- Repeat what you heard in your own words to confirm understanding.
- Try not to interrupt, even if you disagree.
These small actions help build trust and deeper connections.
4. Seeing challenges as spiritual lessons
Difficult relationships are sometimes part of our spiritual tests or growth opportunities. Spiritism doesn’t see these struggles as punishments, but as chances to practice patience, humility, and forgiveness.
Helpful reflection:
Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?”, try asking “What can I learn from this relationship?”
5. Using prayer in moments of conflict
Prayer is a powerful way to find emotional and spiritual balance. Kardec explains that a sincere prayer doesn’t always change the other person—but it can shift your energy and help you respond with more clarity and calm.
Simple practice:
Before a tough conversation, say a short prayer asking for wisdom, peace, and patience. You’ll likely notice a difference in how you handle the situation.
6. Doing good in your close relationships
True kindness, in the spiritist view, means doing good without expecting anything in return. This includes small acts like offering help, listening, giving compliments, or simply being present.
Everyday idea:
Choose one person in your life and do something kind for them today—just because. It could be a thoughtful message, a helpful favor, or just showing them attention and love.
7. Teaching by example, not pressure
Kardec reminds us that actions speak louder than words. The best way to encourage others to grow is by living the values you believe in.
“A true Spiritist is known by their moral transformation and the efforts they make to overcome their flaws.”
Being kind, honest, fair, and patient inspires others more than any speech or advice ever could.
Conclusion
Applying Allan Kardec’s teachings to your relationships is a powerful way to live your spirituality every day. Spiritism encourages us to become better not out of guilt, but through awareness that spiritual growth means learning to love more and judge less. And the best place to start practicing that is right in our daily relationships.
Start today—with small steps—and see how your connections can become more peaceful, meaningful, and spiritually fulfilling.
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I need to apply this teaching. Thank you.
Great article on how to apply Kardec’s teachings in our every day liv s.